[Author’s Note: Originally written August 2015]

INT. FUNCTION HALL – COAT ROOM. DAY

A woman in a bridal dress, TEGAN, is sitting in the coat room. The walls are lined with immaculate black suit jackets. A man, TREVOR, dressed in a black suit saunters by the open door of the coat room, a bottle of champagne in his hand. He pokes his head inside the coat room and spots Tegan.

TREVOR

(to Tegan) Hey, I found you.

He pops his head out of the coat room.

TREVOR

(shouting)

Hey guys, I found…

A hand yanks him by the collar and pulls him inside; the door is slams shut behind him. Tegan throws him down onto one of the two Ottomans sat around the room. Tegan sits on the other one.

TREVOR

These are really fancy Ottomans. Must’ve cost a fortune. Course it’s a fancy place.

TEGAN

Shut up.

TREVOR

Ok.

 TEGAN

It’s your talking that caused all this.

The two sit in silence. She then notices the bottle lazily held in his hand.

TEGAN

Give me the bottle.

He clutches the bottle tightly towards his chest.

TREVOR

No, my bottle.

 

TEGAN

I paid for the damn thing. It’s my damn bottle. Along with this whole damn wedding.

He relents and returns the bottle to its precarious position swinging in his hand. She snatches the drink and takes a big swig.

TEGAN

I haven’t drunk wine from the bottle since I was 25.

TREVOR

Why’d you stop?

TEGAN

Went to less house parties and more dinner parties. There you get drunk with a large glass or a continuous string of gin martinis like a proper lady. I imagine you still drink from the bottle?

TREVOR

Only on particularly sad Friday nights.

He grabs the bottle back and takes a swig. This begins a game of sorts. Passing the bottle back and forth.

TREVOR

And botched weddings. Which I don’t think is entirely my fault.

She eyes him, irritated.

TREVOR

Don’t get me wrong. Part of it is my fault but the signs were there from the start. Tim, I love the guy, but he’s a bit of a tosser.

He takes a swig, she then grabs the bottle back.

TEGAN

Yeah, well he was my tosser.

TREVOR

Wonder where he is now.

TEGAN

Probably valiantly searching for me.

She takes a swig.

TREVOR

Oh yeah, that was the whole reason I came in here.

TEGAN

And now?

TREVOR

Now I’m enjoying a drink.

He takes back the bottle from her. He takes a swig.

TEGAN

Why’d you do it?

TREVOR

Do what?

TEGAN

Don’t bullshit. The speech. You could’ve let it slide. Deliver some crap speech about how communication is the most important part of any marriage.

 

TREVOR

(interrupting) Which it is.

TEGAN

Why say what you said? No more bullshit.

 

TREVOR

I was drunk.

TEGAN

Bullshit.

TREVOR

I was… having a shit day.

TEGAN

Bullshit. Hurtful bullshit too.

Neither has passed the bottle for some time. He takes another swig.

TREVOR

Dutch courage.

TEGAN

For what?

TREVOR

Confession.

He stands wonkily.

TREVOR

Tegan, I love…

He stumbles. He gulps air.

TREVOR (CONT.)

…too much wine.

Trevor falls forward and hits the floor with a thud. The champagne bottle hits the floor and lands laying down. Wine pours out and pools towards the collapsed body of Trevor.

TREVOR

The floor is comfy.

Then he goes quiet. All is still. Then he starts to snore.

TEGAN

I know why you did it. You knew as well as I did that I was getting cold feet. You’ve always been at telling what people are thinking. Thing is, part of me wants Tim and part of me doesn’t. I mean the sex is great, and Tim’s dependable.

Trevor murmurs on the floor.

TREVOR

Boring. Dependable is just adult talk for boring.

TEGAN

But what’s the alternative? Ten more years of dating going nowhere. What if I turn 40 before I meet someone I truly click with.

TREVOR

(barely audible) Elope.

TEGAN

What?

TREVOR

(looking up)

Elope with me.

The door opens as the opening chords of ’The Sound of Silence’ by Simon and Garfunkel play.