You Can’t Get Ye Flask – Audio Play

[Author’s Note: Originally written October 2015]

Scene: 1

(THE NARRATOR SOUNDS LIKE A GPS AS VOICED BY A WOMAN OR PERHAPS SIRI, HER VOICE SOUNDS DISTANT, AS IF COMING FROM A PA SYSTEM.)

SOUND: THE SOUND OF WATER DRIPPING ONTO STONE, ECHOING SLIGHTLY

NARRATOR

You awake in a room. You hear the sound of dripping water, though it’s not clear which direction the water is coming from. There are three clear directions NORTH, EAST, and WEST.

LEXI

Go NORTH.

NARRATOR

You go NORTH. You drown. As you drown you think that the dropping water must’ve come from this room.

(COMPLETE SILENCE FOR A BEAT)

SOUND: THE SOUND OF WATER DRIPPING ONTO STONE, ECHOING SLIGHTLY CAN BE HEARD AGAIN

(more…)

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White Wedding – Together At Last

[Author’s Note: Originally written August 2015]

INT. FUNCTION HALL – COAT ROOM. DAY

A woman in a bridal dress, TEGAN, is sitting in the coat room. The walls are lined with immaculate black suit jackets. A man, TREVOR, dressed in a black suit saunters by the open door of the coat room, a bottle of champagne in his hand. He pokes his head inside the coat room and spots Tegan.

TREVOR

(to Tegan) Hey, I found you.

He pops his head out of the coat room.

TREVOR

(shouting)

Hey guys, I found…

(more…)

White Wedding – Tegan’s Preamble

[Author’s Note: Originally written August 2015]

INT. CHURCH – SIDE ROOM. DAY

A bride, TEGAN, stands in front of a full-length mirror looking herself over in her bridal gown. She lets out an exasperated sigh.

TEGAN

This is it. The big day that everybody dreams of.

She walks to a chair in the room and sits.

TEGAN (CONT.)

That’s what people say anyway. Do I really want this? God, I sound like such a fucking cliché. A bride having doubts on her wedding day.

(more…)

White Wedding – Trevor’s Speech

[Author’s Note: Originally written August 2015]

INT. TREVOR’S APARTMENT. NIGHT

We see a dingy apartment filled with all the marks of single-dom: empty pizza boxes, couple beer empties. We are positioned behind a armchair positioned directly in front of a massive TV. The blue light of the screen illuminates the apartment. We can see a figure, TREVOR, sitting in the chair, his head poking just above the chair. We then focus on Trevor’s from the perspective of the TV. Trevor is sitting, numbed out his mind watching trashy TV. His phone next to him lights up and starts ringing. His ringtone is ’The Sound of Silence’ by Simon and Garfunkel. He looks at the phone screen. We see the contact: MUM. It is accompanied by a candid photo of a woman in her mid-50s. He answers.

(more…)

Monolith

[Author’s Note: Originally written October 2015]

As the sluggish train carried him into his work the skyline cast a dark shadow over the dreary landscape molded by the winter. It was an inescapable aspect of the city that was well known and oft parodied by its residents. The mood of the city became exactly like people outside it imagined it did in the winter months. Those travelling to work were covered in black, scurrying about in such a rat race that from above they must’ve looked like ants, ants tracking the same path every day. As he thought the train arrived painfully slowly into the city.

(more…)

Art is for Wankers

[Author’s Note: Originally written June 2015]

Leaning against the rail, his eyes wandered casually to an ANZ billboard above him. The slogan sat there. Live life the way you want it. One of those advertising statements that meant nothing because they can’t say what they want, Give us your money. It was good to know that three years of university had given him the ability to detect bullshit. He could’ve saved himself the money if he’d known that that would’ve been the only thing he’d retained from his course. Well, that and that small A4 piece of paper that hung in his apartment stating that he, Michael Alan Smith, had earned his Bachelor of Arts. In his head he responded with his major instantly. It was a reflex, sharpened for years when people at parties asked the same questions. He could quote the questions from memory.

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