White Wedding – Trevor’s Speech

[Author’s Note: Originally written August 2015]


We see a dingy apartment filled with all the marks of single-dom: empty pizza boxes, couple beer empties. We are positioned behind a armchair positioned directly in front of a massive TV. The blue light of the screen illuminates the apartment. We can see a figure, TREVOR, sitting in the chair, his head poking just above the chair. We then focus on Trevor’s from the perspective of the TV. Trevor is sitting, numbed out his mind watching trashy TV. His phone next to him lights up and starts ringing. His ringtone is ’The Sound of Silence’ by Simon and Garfunkel. He looks at the phone screen. We see the contact: MUM. It is accompanied by a candid photo of a woman in her mid-50s. He answers.


Hey, mum.

Chatter that we can’t hear comes from the phone. It goes on for sometime.


Ok mum.

The chatter is brief on the other end.


Bye mum.

Trevor get up from his state and walks into the kitchen which is part of the same room as the living room. The camera follows as he walks to the fridge and grabs a 3-litre bottle of milk. He opens it and drinks from it. After he’s finished he puts it back in the fridge. He opens the fridge and grabs a slice of pizza and sticks it in the microwave.

As the microwave whirs away he begins to think out loud.


So Mum and Dad are splitting up? How long they been together?

He counts on his hand by fives.


At least twenty years. They could’ve timed it better. Mum knows I’ve got Tim and Tegan’s wedding tomorrow, which I still haven’t written the speech for. I told Tim I’d have it ready for the wedding when I saw him last. Could just make it up as I go. Though that never works. I remember Uncle Kevin’s speech at Dad’s 40th. Doesn’t help that Kevin had had a few too many. Course Kevin was hilarious. Mum didn’t find it so, but she never was one for when things went off-script. Christ, I remember when Mum wanted to hire a clown for my birthday but Dad forgot what she said and hired a magician. None of the kids cared though, all the same ballpark, right? Course not that the kids cared. He did his bit and left. We just spent the rest of the afternoon battling Pokémon on our Game Boys.

The microwave chimes and he grabs his pizza. He walks back to the living room area. He puts his pizza down on the side arm and gets up to grab a pen and paper from nearby. He puts the paper on his knee and begins to write and talk out loud about his speech.


Friends, family and miscellaneous we’re gathered here to celebrate the joining of lives of Tim and Tegan. I’ve known Tim for years, not as long as I’ve known Tegan mind you. Tegs and I used to get drunk, and sometimes high, at the same parties. We never talked at these parties mind you but we travelled in the same circles. Tim and I were fast friends from the first time we met. Then one day Tim comes to me with something to say. “I think I love this girl, Tegan Bianco”. Course what Tim didn’t know is that I’d had a crush on Tegan since I was 10 years old but I didn’t want to ruin his thing so I stayed quiet. I stayed quiet throughout their initial dating, through to when they got serious, I kept quiet all this time. And I’ll stay quiet.

He scrunches up the paper and chucks it away. He reclines in his chair and watches his TV.

FADE TO: The Next Morning

Trevor’s alarm on his phone wakes him up. He looks at his phone.



As he starts undressing a call comes in. It’s Tim. He answers. Chatter starts coming through the line.


Yeah, I’m almost ready.

Chatter continues.


Yeah, I’ve got my best man speech.

Focus on the scrunched-up speech on the floor. As Trevor is stripping and changing he sees the paper on the floor and grabs it.


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